Detroit Got EMBARRASSED on Its Own Floor in Game 7

Damn it!

I’m sick.

Not “I need soup and cough medicine” sick.

I’m talking about the kind of sick where you stare at the wall after the game ends, wondering if your TV owes you an apology.

Because what I witnessed Sunday night at Little Caesars Arena?

DISGUSTING.

APPALLING.

DOWNRIGHT NASTY WORK.

The Cleveland Cavaliers walked into Detroit and beat the BRAKES off my Pistons 125-94 in Game 7 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals.

Thirty-one points.

At HOME.

IN DETROIT.

A 30-ball wing dinner with extra lemon pepper and Cajun fries on the side.

That’s like getting slapped at your own birthday party while your family watches.

I’m still in disbelief.

The Cavs Came Into Detroit Acting Like They Paid Rent Here

Before Sunday night, the Pistons were 5-0 all-time at home in Game 7s.

Little Caesars Arena was rocking.

The crowd was loud.

The city was ready.

And Cleveland basically looked around and said the following:

“Cool story. Now move.”

Because from the opening tip, the Cavs controlled this game like they had the cheat codes.

Detroit trailed 31-22 after the first quarter.

Down 17 at halftime.

Down by as many as 35 in the second half.

THIRTY-FIVE?!

At home?!

What the hell was that?!

The Pistons looked rattled, nervous, and uncomfortable, like somebody forced them to give a presentation they didn’t study for.

Donovan Mitchell Was On Demon Time

Now let me say this.

Shoutout to Donovan Mitchell.

That brotha came into Detroit looking like he had unpaid bills and the Pistons were responsible for every single one of them.

Spyda finished with:

• 26 points

• 8 assists

• 6 rebounds

• 
  

And according to ESPN Research, Mitchell either scored or assisted on 43 Cleveland points while the Cavs shot a PERFECT 8-for-8 off his passes.

The man was dissecting Detroit’s defense like a surgeon.

And the Cavs got contributions from EVERYBODY.

Cleveland’s Bucket Brigade:

• Sam Merrill: 23 points, five 3s

• Evan Mobley: 21 points, 12 rebounds

• Jarrett Allen: 23 points, 7 rebounds

It felt like Oprah was handing out buckets.

YOU get a jumper. YOU get a layup. YOU get a three-pointer.

Meanwhile, Detroit was out there building affordable housing with all those bricks.

Cade Icewood Finally Looked Human

And this is what hurt the most.

Cade Cunningham has carried this franchise all season.

The man elevated into superstardom this year.

But Sunday?

Cade looked exhausted.

The All-Star guard finished with:

• 13 points

• 5 assists

• 4 rebounds

• 5-for-16 shooting

• 0-for-7 from three

MAN WHAT?!

Cade was colder than a gas station hot dog at 3 a.m.

And when the Pistons were down 34 with under six minutes left, his night ended early as fans flooded toward the exits.

That image hurt.

Because you could SEE the disappointment on his face.

Tobias Harris & Jalen Duren? Lord Have Mercy

Now let’s talk about the supporting cast.

Because OH MY GOODNESS.

Somebody needs to put an APB out for Jalen Duren IMMEDIATELY.

The big fella averaged:

• 19.5 points

• 10.5 rebounds

• 2 blocks

during the regular season.

All-Star season.

Big money season.

Then the playoffs arrived, and bro started performing like he forgot basketball existed.

Game 7:

• 7 points

• 9 rebounds

• 3 turnovers

And throughout the postseason?

Just 10 points and 8 rebounds per game.

That drop-off needs to be studied by scientists.

And Tobias Harris?

LORD.

After being Detroit’s reliable No. 2 scoring option most of the playoffs, he followed up a six-point Game 6 with THIS in Game 7:

• 5 points

• 0-for-6 shooting

Zero made shots.

ZERO.

Tobias was more broke than Will Smith in The Pursuit of Happyness.

At Least Daniss Jenkins Showed Some Heart

One bright spot?

Daniss Jenkins.

The young guard led Detroit with 17 points and at least looked like he cared about surviving.

And Duncan Robinson gave solid minutes too with 13 points on efficient shooting.

But overall?

Detroit got outclassed.

Outworked.

Outplayed.

Everything.

Cleveland’s 31-point win was the third-largest road Game 7 victory in NBA history.

Translation: The Pistons got publicly embarrassed on their own floor.

The Offseason Is About To Get REAL

Now here comes the hard part.

The offseason.

And according to reports from Shams Charania, Detroit is expected to go STAR HUNTING.

GOOD.

Because it’s obvious: Cade needs help.

REAL help.

Not “potential.”

Not “maybe one day.”

I’m talking about a certified bucket-getter.

If I’m Detroit, I’m calling:

• Devin Booker

• Giannis Antetokounmpo

IMMEDIATELY.

I’ll trade half the city for Giannis.

I’ll throw Belle Isle, a Faygo and a coney combo meal into the deal package.

Because what Sunday proved is this:

The Pistons are CLOSE.

But they are NOT there yet.

The Good News? The Future Is Still Bright

Now despite how ugly this loss was…

This season still mattered.

Let’s not forget:

• 60 wins

• No. 1 seed

• First playoff series win since 2008

• Cade Cunningham becoming a superstar

• A young core gaining playoff scars

Sometimes you gotta get your heart broken before you break through.

That’s sports.

That’s basketball.

That’s Detroit.

The Pistons got punched in the mouth Sunday night.

But next season?

We better see growth.

We better see toughness.

We better see another leap.

Because this city deserves it.

Detroit vs Everybody forever.