The Tigers Stunk It Up: Detroit’s ALDS Game 3 Was Straight Embarrassing

Let’s call it what it is — the Tigers flat-out stunk it up in Game 3 of the ALDS.

No sugarcoating it. No excuses. That was ugly baseball, Detroit.

After clawing their way back from the biggest collapse in MLB history, blowing a 15.5-game division lead, and redeeming themselves by beating the Guardians in the wild-card round, the Tigers were supposed to ride that energy back into the D.

Comerica Park was packed, the city was ready, the vibes were high... and then, the Tigers forgot to show up.

Literally.

The 4:08 p.m. start got delayed to 7 p.m. because of rain, but it’s like Detroit’s lineup stayed stuck in traffic somewhere on I-75.

Because the way they played? Man… it looked like they were the ones still waiting for the tarp to come off.

Cal Raleigh, who’s quickly becoming the Tigers’ worst nightmare, blasted a two-run homer in the ninth — his third of the postseason — while Eugenio Suárez and J.P. Crawford added solo shots earlier.

That’s three dingers on Detroit’s home turf.

Three!

Meanwhile, the Tigers’ bats were quieter than a Motown museum after closing hours.

Through eight innings, Detroit had just four hits and one run.

That’s it. That’s all.

They couldn’t hit water if they fell out of a boat. They couldn’t hit air if you gave them a fan.

They were offensively allergic.

By the time they woke up in the ninth inning — scoring three meaningless runs off Caleb Ferguson — the Mariners had already packed their bags, checked out of the hotel, and were halfway to Game 4.

And the pitching? Whew.

Detroit pitchers were out there handing out runs like Oprah handing out cars: “You get a run! You get a run! Everybody gets a run!”

Jack Flaherty lasted barely three innings — 3⅓ to be exact — giving up four runs (three earned) on four hits and three walks.

The Mariners were seeing beach balls up there.

Detroit fans tried to stay patient, but by the seventh inning, the boos rained down heavier than the earlier storm. And honestly, they were warranted.

You can’t come home for your first playoff game at Comerica in two weeks and play like that.

Let’s not forget, the Tigers haven’t won a home game since September 6th. That’s an eight-game home losing streak now. In the playoffs. In front of your city.

C’mon, bruh.

Errors, missed opportunities, flat energy — it was all there. Kerry Carpenter tried to give the Tigers some life with a fielder’s choice RBI in the fifth, but even that was more luck than execution. Then Crawford came right back with a homer to remind Detroit whose series this really is.

By the time the final out dropped, it wasn’t just a loss — it was an embarrassment.

And look, I get it. This team has fought through adversity all season. They bounced back when everyone buried them. But if they don’t bring some serious fire in Game 4, all that redemption talk goes out the window.

Detroit deserves better than that performance. The city showed up. The fans showed up.

The Tigers? Not so much.

So yeah, I’m annoyed. We all are. Because this team can be great — we’ve seen it. But Tuesday night? That wasn’t great baseball. That was lazy, sloppy, uninspired baseball.

If they want to stay alive in this postseason, the Tigers better remember what city they play for.

Because if not? They’ll be watching the ALCS from the same spot as the Guardians — the couch.

Detroit, I need y’all to wake up.

Because that wasn’t Tiger baseball.

That was tragic baseball.